A day without sunshine is like... night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Remember half the people you know are below average.
Despite the cost living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I intend to live forever - so far so good.
Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
If barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
Bye.
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